Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys

Leave it to the French.

After 7 years and hundreds of negative drug tests, they're accusing Lance Armstrong of doping.
Again.
For about the millionth time.

This guy is the most tested athlete on the planet. He's subjected to hundreds of tests every year. Every day he finished wearing the yellow jersey, he got tested. Not one positive. He's got one nut, his body doesn't produce enough testosterone, but he can't take hormone injections because it's a banned substance.

Then this French rag, L'Equipe, claims they got a positive from a urine sample from 6 years ago. Lots of samples were retested as a way to improve testing techniques. All samples were anonymous, and the lab itself couldn't connect the samples to the athletes. But apparently the French fishwrap could? Plus the paper goes on to say that the science in question is faulty.

Oh, and did I mention that L'Equipe parent company is the organizer of the Tour? Yeah, the paper and the Tour offices are in the same building. What's French for "conflict of interest"?

And not only that, but Lance donates money to the World Anti-Doping Agency. Now if he was a drug user, why would he donate money to an agency (whose sole purpose is to catch drug users) to help them improve their testing techniques? That'd be like Whitey Bulger donating to the policeman's ball.

Let's face it...the French hate us. Until the next time someone comes across their borders looking to steal their Brie. Then it's all "Oh, Americans. Come and save us and we will send you more statues!". Just because we got a guy that can beat their whole country with one nut tied behind his back. I hope they choke on their quiche.