What You Learn in College

If you're ever looking for some mindless entertainment, I may have just found it for you. For those that like "Jackass" and other stupidity induced shows, this is right up your alley.

Check out Fight Skool. I've known the "Gentile Giant" since he was just a lad. My, how they grow up so fast!

Definately not going to raise your IQ at all, but watching someone get smacked on the back with a hangar...that's entertainment. It even left a mark with the hook part and everything. And don't forget to check out the video of two guys smacking each other in the face with a "Franzia" bag of wine.

Sometimes entertainment doesn't need to have a reason...as long as it's funny.

Monday Movie Quote #22

Yeah, I know...today's Tuesday. This whole Christmas on a Sunday/Monday holiday threw me for a loop. It's not like many people were at work yesterday anyway. So, here's your New Year's quote...better late than never! Happy New Year everyone!

"And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

Last week: A Christmas Story..."Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!"

The True Meaning of Christmas

Sometimes during this time of year, we tend to get caught up in the frenzy of shopping for the perfect gift. Just this week, I was reminded of the true spirit of giving. We should all be reminded of this once in a while.

At the Post Office, one of the guys I work with has been "Santa" for 17 years. All of the letters that come into our office addressed to Santa, he takes and writes back to the child. You've gotta figure a personal letter from Santa has to be impressive to a little kid. But, just this past week he got a letter unlike any he's gotten in the past 17 years.

A little girl wrote to Santa that what she really wanted for Christmas was a warm bedroom. Now, what pre-teen girl asks for something like that? Instantly, "Santa" knew something was not right. He took the letter to the Postmaster and a plan was hatched.

Strings were pulled, contacts were used, and favors were called in. Come to find out that the young girl may not have that much to look forward to this Christmas. In fact, the whole family may not have all that much to be cheerful for. That where we come in...

The employees in our office decided to take up a collection like no other. EVERYONE chipped in. We were able to buy blankets, robes, toys, candy, and (something she mentioned she'd like) knitting and school supplies. One carrier took all of the tips that her customers gave her and bought things for this family. As an office, over $600 worth of gifts are going to be delivered to this girl and her family on Christmas Eve.

She said a warm bedroom...we got $150 worth of heating oil for the house.

I haven't been a big fan of Christmas for a few years. This experience has brought me back. Here's hoping that this young girl, her family, and you and your family have a wonderful Christmas. May the spirit live in all of you.

Monday Movie Quote #21

Merry Christmas everyone. And for our Jewish friends...Merry Christmas to you too! Since next Monday is after Christmas, here's your holiday quote. It's easy, but what a fun movie...

"He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny!"

Last week: Airplane. "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines." And boy did I!

My Wife Can't Drive a Stick

Get your mind out of the gutter, sickos!

Last week, I was out having a beer. Then Liz called me. I had to come home. She was going out and needed me to move my car out of the driveway so she could get her car out. Why couldn't she do it? That's right...she doesn't know how to drive my car because it's a standard.

(I imagine she hates me right now for telling this story)

So maybe she hasn't had the chance to learn? Nope. My car is a 1995 Honda Prelude and I bought it brand new, so she's had 10 years to figure it out. So if you hear of my early demise and wonder why Liz didn't get me to the hospital, it's because my car was at the end of the driveway.

Monday Movie Quote #20

Yeah, I know. Another week off from blogging. My computer underwent some elective surgery and has come out of it swimmingly. New CPU and hard drive. Should be good for another couple of weeks before it needs another upgrade. Stupid technology. Anyway...

"How about this leaflet, 'Famous Jewish Sports Legends'"

Last week: Jaws..."Smile you son of a bitch!"

Monday Movie Quote #19

So what if it's 11:30 on Monday night...it's still Monday isn't it? This one's from another classic we were quoting at work.

"That's some bad hat, Harry."

Last week: A Few Good Men. "I want you to stand there in your faggoty white uniform, and with your Harvard mouth extend me some fuckin courtesy."

Bah Humbug

I don't know about the rest of you, but I can't stand Christmas. The holidays mean spending money I don't have, lots of darkness, and shoveling snow.

And I know you're probably thinking about presents. Aren't we all old enough that if we want something we can go out and buy it ourselves? What's worse than waiting until Christmas and not getting what you want. If I go buy it for myself I'm guaranteed to get it!

So if you see me during the holiday season, I apologize in advance if I'm not in the "Christmas mood". This time of year just doesn't do it for me. Now I'm just sitting around waiting for spring.