Monday Movie Quote #31

Yeah, I know. Another Monday Quote on a Tuesday. Maybe I forgot, or...maybe I was just waiting for Mardi Gras! Happy Mardi Gras everyone! And in honor of Fat Tuesday, here's your quote.

"I changed my mind. What's New Orleans like this time of year? Mardi Gras! Woooo! Ha ha ha! Look Meryl, same road, no cars. It's magic!"

Last week: So I Married an Axe Murderer. "Harriet. Har-ee-ett."

Faster, Higher, Stronger

I can't get enough of the Olympics. I know the rest of you couldn't give a damn about sports that only get attention once every 4 years. My feeling is that is exactly why we should pay attention...they only come around once every four years. Sure there's the X-Games, but that's just a lot of snowboarding. How about ski jumping? How about biathalon? When bobsledding is only on every 4 years, you can bet I'm going to watch.

And then there's my new favorite winter sport...curling. It may look a little stupid at first glance, but anyone who has watched a match can agree with me that it's much more than sliding a rock down a sheet of ice. There's accuracy, touch, strategy, and (believe it or not) excitment. It looks like a simple game, but I'm sure it's much tougher than it looks.

When the Olympics are over, I will miss curling. Too bad I can't say the same for US Hockey.

Monday Movie Quote #30

Happy President's Day everybody! My job at the Post Office may suck, but at least we get today off. And in celebration of wooden teeth, cherry trees, top hats, and long beards...here's your Presidential quote.

"She confessed to the murders of Abraham Lincoln, Julius Ceaser, and Warren G. Harding. She's a nutcase!"

Last Week: Beverly Hills Cop. "We got coffee and cocaine here. We're gonna get wired and have a big party."

And 4 people got this one! Either it was easy or you guys were on the ball. Keep up the good work.

Farts Are Funny!

I don't care who you are, where you come from, or what your upbringing is...when you hear a really good fart, you smile. There's just something about that joyous noise from someone's behind that is just damned funny. If they weren't, why would they have made a machine that can recreate a fart noise? And not just the Fart Machine...Whoopie Cushions have been around forever.

We were talking about farts the other day at work. We talked about crop-dusting (walking up to someone, farting, and leaving the smell behind) and dutch ovens (farting in an enclosed space like a car). We even brought up an application of Murphy's Law...if you want anyone to come to talk to you, all you have to do is fart and someone is bound to show up. And we even brought up the old joke of why farts smell.

So check out CreateFarts and create some farts. Share them with your co-workers. Everyone farts...why not have fun with them!

Monday Movie Quote #29

I was going to hold off for a day and do a Valentine's Day quote, but I couldn't find a decent quote out there. Then I decided to just go with this one because is an oldie but a goodie...

"This is the cleanest and nicest police car I've ever been in my life. This thing is nicer than my apartment."

Last Week: Black Sunday. Nobody remembered when the blimp crashed into the Super Bowl? Oh well..."What is this thing you Americans call the Super Bowl?"

The Aftermath of Stuper Bowl X

I want to thank all of you who were able to come over for our annual rite of football. As always, the Stuper Bowl Party was a success. There were a few things that I learned from this year's party however...

1. We're getting old. In the good old days, we used to finish off the keg by halftime. Now I think most of us are ready for bed by halftime. I hate letting beer go to waste.
   
2. The game stinks when you don't care about who's playing. It was boring and it was slow, but if the Pats were playing, it would've been great.
3. Super Bowl commercials aren't always good. I always look forward to the new ads, but I guess just because Budweiser buys 10 spots it doesn't mean any of them will be great.
4. The Rolling Stones are older then we are. They should've been in bed by halftime. Actually, I think Keith Richards may have been asleep.

Even given all of this, I can't wait till next season.

Monday Movie Quote #28

Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers. Super Bowl XL has come and gone, and now we wait until next fall for it to begin all over again. In tribute to the NFL, here's your Super Bowl quote...

"Cancel the Super Bowl? That's like canceling Christmas!"

Last Week: Die Hard. "Now I know what a TV dinner feels like."

The Wait is Almost Over!

The two week wait between the conference finals and the Super Bowl sucks. There's been football on every Sunday since September 8th, and then they decide to take a week off. Why? So I can listen to Michael Irvin talk and talk? So Chris Berman can get more airtime with his "2 Minute Drill But I'm Going to Talk for 20 Minutes" segment? So every former player that ever played in a Super Bowl can get off of their Lay-Z-Boy and get back in front of a camera or microphone?

The real reason (supposedly) is to give players a week of rest so that everyone is healthy in order to make a better game. Well then why not have a week off between every game to give players the chance to get healthy? Or just have one game a month so players with sprained ankles can be back for the next game?

The only reason behind the week off is so the media can keep spouting nonsense. The players don't like it...they'd rather just get out there and play. As a fan, I don't like it either. Too much talking about absolutely nothing. Just get out there and play.

And once it's over, the only problem is the 7 months until next season.